beth/rest.

  do you ever have moments when you think that even if you

died tomorrow, you'd be happy because you really lived in one of 

those small, simple pleasures of life?

this morning i had that thought as i was walking to the mailbox,

soaking up the smell of the early morning air.

i remember feeling the same way while driving through tennesee, kentucky, and illinois

a couple of weeks ago with andy by my side. 

the man i love, good music, and scorched orange cornfields whizzing by.

we've been enjoying (belatedly) the new bon iver album in the last few weeks.

i teared up while reading andy the dedication that justin vernon (lead singer)

wrote to his wife in the inner pages of the album.

i'm such an emo-ball these days.

i've told andy before that if anything ever happened to me, 

and i was no longer here,

i would send him messages to let him know i was with him.

it may sound morbid, but i think of it as part of this eternal love, you know?

part of the forever promise we're making to each other.

i think i'd want to speak to him mainly through music.

{why am i not weirded out by this? are you?}

the last song on the album is called "beth/rest."

at first we made jokes about how 80's-sounding it is, but it's really grown on me

and it's better than the only other song i know that includes my name,

which is kiss' "beth."

i don't really know how this is all connected. 

do i want to reassure andy, if need be, through kenny-loggins-esque saxophones?

no, not really. plus, i like other songs on the album more.

i guess i just hope that the peace of our simple moments & small pleasures

will bring a lot of comfort some day,

for whatever reason we may need it.